Thoughts

3/20/2026
I have been feeling horrible anxiety, that Im not gonna be enough, that the girl will quickly dislike me, that Im not adult enough, not interesting enough, too annoying, too clingy, too crazy. All probably hold some truth. I also fear the freindgroup might try to purposefully ignore me/exclude me. These are just my fears. If they became realty, I would have to live with them.

3/20/2026
That girl I liked, turns out its mutual. We took a walk. She told me I say Tatoo funny. We got ice cream with her sister. We talked about our feelings. She likes zebras more than horses… weirdo. I gave her a few hugs. It was pretty awesome. I’m pretty infatuated. She’s a bible scholar. She likes Habakkuk chapter 3, which is one of my favorites too. She got mad at me because I did tax evasion. But it’s ok because she knows how to do taxes. She’s gonna do my taxes, and Im gonna make her pasta and clean her house. She doesn’t know about that yet, but I think she’ll be down.

3/9/2026
I met a group of people at my church. They’re pretty cool. Im so scared though. Im even having trouble sleeping and eating. Im afraid I’m gonna mess it up. I’m afraid I’m gonna be too closed off. I am trying to trust God though to give me the words that I need. I think there might be a girl there that I like. Im… pretty sure of it.

2/16/2026
I had a interview/chat with a guy named Jack today. It was for a scholarship. I don’t think he liked me. The purpose of the chat was to demo my project, but he didn’t want to see it.

1/19/2026
I had a chat with a guy named marc today. He works at Compulsion Games. He was very nice, and he had some great tips. I learned that a Tech Artist should bridge the gap between programmers and Artists. They should try to make life easier, by making intuitive easy-to-use tools.

1/12/2026
This is really hard. But I hope it gets me a job.

1/10/2026
Do you think an AI will ever be my boss?

1/05/2026
Sometimes I wonder if I’m real. Like when I take a second to reflect, it feels like Im watching through a screen.

1/01/2026
Happy new year

12/16/2025
I had a chat with a guy named Nils today. He works at Deep Silver FishLabss. I loved hearing about his experience! I learned how important breakdowns are, so I made this website and Im gonna make some breakdowns.